Plain English Example 2

Before

Dear Jack
I have been doing some research about the hotel rooms issue and what I found out is that since there will be several big events held in Hong Kong in January, the room rates are comparably high and the room availability is tight. As I know, there will be an exhibition held between the period of January 8-22, 2006. Please note that most of the hotel rooms in luxury end hotels in low categories either have been reserved by the overseas exhibitors and travelers or adjusted to a higher rate ranged between HK$2,800-HK$4,000 plus 10% service charge and 3% government tax but excluding daily breakfasts. Besides, the hotel rooms with small kitchen are rare to be available in most of the superior/deluxe room types, only with it available in the “suite” category (of course, it is charged more than HK$5,000 per night). To help you I have looked at hotels not in the city centre, but with easy access to the city. According to your requirement, I have found a hotel room with a small kitchen at Splendid Palace Hotel (3-4 stars). It’s located nearby the residential area, however, it’s convenient to go places by train (5 minutes walking distance to the MTR train station). After negotiation, they have an exclusive offer for me at HK$ 1,380 + 10% services charges + 3% government tax. The room rate includes two daily buffet breakfasts. You can access the following hotel link for details http://www.splendidpalace.com.hk. Please feel free to let me know should I need to make room reservation for you? 
Best regards 
Connie

After

Dear Jack

I wonder if you could approve the hotel I have found for you. I’d like to book as soon as possible. 

Hotel:           Splendid Palace Hotel (3-4 stars)
Amenities:    Double room with small kitchen 
Location:      Residential area and 5 minutes walk to
                   the MTR train station 
Rates:          HK$ 1,380 (+ 10% service charge
                   + 3% government tax) inc.
                   daily breakfast 
Website:       www.splendidpalace.com.hk 

I am afraid I have been unable to find a 4-5 star room for you. They have already been reserved or adjusted to higher rates because there are several other big events in Hong Kong while you are here. Such rooms with small kitchens are rare unless you book a suite at over HK$5,000 + + a night. 

I hope to hear from you soon. 
Best regards 
Connie
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